heartsarecalling

WOW! I can't believe it's August already. My how time has flown. You know what I realised today? It seems to me that July passes by the fastest. July just seems to go in and out and you barely get anything done in the month. I don't like that. Why can't July last longer?! I wish I could slow down time sometimes. It would like solve so many problems like getting assignments finished. Well, I should probably stop rambling.

Well, I was looking through my old posts, don't ask why. I'm weird that way. I realised that my posts have changed so much. From talking about what happens in my day to barely blogging, then to doing quotes and blogging about random things. Well, I thought that I should do a new thing for every month that I blog. So like one month could be talking about my favourite things in my room and the next month I could be talking about my itunes library or something. Now that I think about it, this idea may not work like I want it to. Oh well, you have to try before you ... whatever. LOL!

I just realised that I am a very strange child. Instead of doing assignments like agriculture and english, I am sitting here and blogging. I need to get my priorities straight if I want to go well in School Certificate. I WILL finish practise english tomorrow. I promise myself that. If I don't, I will feel very guilty and ashamed of myself. Let's hope that it works.

Well, I guess that's it for my rambling and talking about stuff that does not link together. OH, I want a job so badly :( ! I want money to pay for Europe trip. Man, centrelink better give me some money. PRETTY PLEASE CENTRELINK! Don't let me down like you let other people down. You don't want to let me down. It's not a pretty site.

OMG! I can't wait for September to come. Shows come back . American shows that is. Grey's Anatomy, One Tree Hill, Big Bang Theory and many many more. YAY! No offence to Australian shows but they don't provide as good as American shows. It could have something to do with they have more money or more people so they have more people on making up shows or something. LOL! I just can't wait. YAY!

Well, I think that's it for this post. Pretty long compared to my last post which was very short. I will make up an idea for this month and hopefully it will work. Keep your fingers crossed kiddies. LOL!

HAVE A GREAT START TO AUGUST PEEPS!
(Wow, haven't said the word peeps in so long. I am bringing back slang from last year peeps. LOL!)

blah blah blah blah.

i was just so bored that i needed to do something. and this is what i hate about holidays. the constant boredom that surrounds you. i think that if i were to have a choice between school or the holidays, i would choose school. LOL!

i miss how i could laugh about stupid things but at home, theres barely any comedy. at school, i have meals prepared. at home, i just go with the flow. and i eat really badly and irregularly at home too. i dont know why but i like to have things in order. i guess that makes me a bit crazy but whatever. but then again, i like going to truong tutoring. LOL!

and i think thats it . this was just a boredom blog.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I was in my car listening to the radio on my way home when 'Fearless' by Wes Carr came on. Yes, I know Wes Carr may not be the best singer out there but it was the song on at the time so don't judge me. Anyways, I was sitting there peacefully listening to the song, when the chorus came up.

I could be fearless,

I could be strong,

I could be wiser, braver

When I heard those lyrics, they got me thinking. We could all get over our fears. The fear of heights, being left behind, spiders, going outside, death, failing an exam or having too many pimples. We could get over any fear that we have. We just need the inner-will inside of us that wants to make that happen. We could challenge ourselves. Push ourselves that little bit further so that we are pushing our fears. Push ourselves so that we are one step closer to wiping that fear away from our lives. We could do this with all our fears. Wipe them out of our bodies, our lives and live a life where everything is possible and impossible is yet to be seen. We could have ourselves stronger and braver than we ever thought possible.

That fear that prevents us from climbing a mountain and looking down, prevents us from living life at the fullest because we are afraid that if something goes wrong, we'll die and that fear that prevents us from saying 'SCREW THOSE PIMPLES!'. They could all vanish and leave us to live our life the way we want to. Fears prevent us from doing things that we dream to do. I have a fear of heights an death, so I would never bungee jump but I would love to experience that feeling of flying through the air. We look at people who are not afraid to jump off that cliff or have a snake wrapped around their necks and we all imagine ourselves in their position. Where we aren't afraid of anything and we can do as we please. We could be in every sense of the word, fearless.

We could learn from our fears. We could learn that we aren't going to die if you miss a step or two, we aren't going to crumble if a mark that we got for an exam and a little less than what we expected, we aren't going to be lonely if one person decides that they won't be in our life. Our fears prevent us from truly living life to the fullest. It's time that we throw our fears out the window and start living our life the way that we want to live it.

So get out there and do everything that you wish to do. Do those things that you were once too afraid to do because of your fear of death, heights or rejection. The time to get over your fears is NOW! And the only thing that is stopping you is yourself. Get out there and live your life. A life without fears.

It's time for you to be FEARLESS!

x. lucy

p.s If anyone has a copy of the history assignment notification, can you scan it and send it to me. It would be much appreciated.

p.p.s I would like to say that I LOVE GABBY! You are utterly awesome!

Look at who has finally decided to make an appearance on her blog? ME! When I was logging in to make this post, I was shocked that I actually remembered my own password. Usually, I tend to forget them after a while if I don't use it. I swear, I want to kill the DET! My school email doesn't work so I can't access anything from my inbox but thankyou to Amy for letting me use her account. :D

I am using capital letters and actual punctuation in this post. I am so proud of myself. You all should be proud as well in me not just me.

Well, I would like to use this post to put shame to all those people who didn't attend Athletics Carnival. All should be ashamed of yourselves. I definitely am very disappointed. In my whole group, only 8% of the whole group came and YES I did calculate that. Even without the other 92% there, it was overall a very good day. If the others decided to turn up then it would have been an even greater day.

I have realised that I, Lucy, have gone very lazy and when I say this, I MEAN VERY LAZY! I told myself that I would start on at least one assignment today and I haven't really. Unless you count looking up images of blood part of an assignment. I was also supposed to start my truong homework but that definitely didn't work. God, I hate my lazliness at the moment. You think that my bad half-yearlys would motivate me to do better but unfortunately that is not the case. I think like a little person on my shoulder telling me what to do so I don't get behind. If anyone knows where to get one of those, please message me. I would greatly appreciate it. :D

My sister was looking at clothes yesterday and she stumbled onto this really good site for clothes. If I had the money, then I would have totally have shopped on this site but sadly I do not since I am a high schooler and nobody will sadly hire me for a high paying job. The clothes are expensive but are oh so pretty. I love their dresses. The site is www.net-a-porter.com. GO CHECK IT OUT even if you don't have the cash to buy anything.

That is all for now. Hopefully it won't be another 3 months or so until I blog again. I am hoping that I will blog every week.

AND SUPPORT SHEAP EVERYONE!

x. lucy

i decided that i should finally blog (this is for rosa). i am sorry that i havent blogged in a while but i guess that i had nothing to blog about really. well, i will be using this to rant about stuff mainly about school holidays. LOL!

the 5 things i hate about the school holidays:

1. i always get really lazy. and i mean REALLY REALLY LAZY! take today for instance. i woke up at 1 PM! i never wake up that late. and i have been doing is procastinating. and i barely brush my hair in the holidays. BET YOU DIDNT KNOW THAT!

2. i always feel bad about doing nothing. like all i have done in the week that we have had off is procastinate! well, i forced myself to do science notes last night and finished :D. so i am feeling good about that. but i always feel bad about procastinating ...

3. teachers expect you to do the homework that they set you since you have 2 weeks to do it. like the stupid history assignment, agriculture homework and science assignment. GAHHHH! cant they let us relax and give us nothing to do. and let me procastinate IN PEACE!

4. my mum is always on my case. like if im on the laptop for too long then i am wasting too much electricity and not doing my chores. or i am going out too much. or i am not doing enough school work. it sucks. and she expects the house to be in tip-top shape all the time. it stinks.

and finally....

5. I AM ALWAYS BORED! like always. i dont know what to do half the time and the other half is spent lounging around the house doing nothing ... it stinks. :L GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO! except for the school work ...

and that is why i hate school holidays

p.s lisa i will post that thing up soon. i just need to decide what i want to upload...

listening to: Lost! by Coldplay

you know how when you were little and you would see this perfect life that you thought was going to happen. you would go to school, happy and content, surrounded by numerous of friends. then you would finish high school and go off to uni where you would complete your degree with flying colours. you would soon meet your prince charming or the girl of your dreams. you guys would date, get engaged, get married and live happily ever after. all the while, having a great career behind you. then you would as many kids as you want and they would turn out all beautiful. you guys would move into a great big house that was like dream. and as a family, you would live a very happy life.

then life would come crashing down on you. that dream starts to fade and the only time that you see that happen is on tv and its seems so unreachable. you realise that life isnt what it is jacked up to be. not everyone is going to like you for who you are. you arent going to meet prince charming or the girl of the dreams. you realise that its too difficult to reach that dream. you realise that it has to be one or the other. the dream career or the dream partner. and those who are lucky to have both are envied by everyone. you realise that the person that you will marry will probably be someone who comes close to being perfect but will never quite reach it. the dream starts to fade and reality starts to kick in ruining all your hope.

i thought that my life was going to be this one great adventure. i thought that i would be doing great things with it and that there was a plan on when i would meet the perfect man and what career i would take to make me one of the most happiest people in the world. then one day, it came crashing down on me. i probably wasnt going to ever find my dream man or even have my dream career. i realised that life rarely was going to be all sunshines and lollipops but rather more of black, white and grey. i realised that people would start to hate me for reasons that were completely unknown to me. i realised that not everyone is going to loyal and that some people will be there for a second and then disappear. i realised that my dream was never going to come true.

i realised that life may not have a plan for me. i realised that if it even had a plan, that the plan may not even become a happy one but rather a sad one. i realised that would be days where i would cry for no particularly reasons and that people would blame things on me that wasnt my fault. i realised that there were going to be more sad days than happy days. i also realised that i would feel like i didnt belong and i would doubt my whole existance.

i realised that bad things would happen to good people and good things would happen to bad people. i realised that the world isnt always fair. i realised that bad people would be able to walk free from prison and not have to pay for what they did. i realised that people will hit and hurt others for no particular reasons or reasons that could be resolved by some other means. i realised people would die when they have so much to live for. i realised that the appearance of someone can fool many people.

and i realised that the fairytale life that i imagined would never become true.

just because i'm hurting doesn't mean i'm hurt
doesn't mean that i didn't get what i deserved.

today was supposed to be the day where i felt a sense of freedom. but that hasn't happened yet. instead all i feel is a heavier weight on the top of my chest. instead of getting a larger cage, i feel like i have been downgraded. i feel like instead of making my choices, people are making them for me. where to go, what to do and how to act and think. i am having difficulty breathing with the weight above me. i feel like i am drowning and i dont even know if i can swim or breathe for longer.

i have been trying to get a bigger cage but it never seems to work. people dont let me talk or they just voice their opinion and walk away. never giving me a chance to say my piece or even to consider my opinion. they say what they think and leave. and leave me there without even letting me speak or say anything. i feel like i havent made any decisions by myself without any influence for my entire life. like everything has been decided for me. they tell me things that come back to haunt me later.

nobody listens and i have given up trying. i cant be bothered to make the change. cant be bothered to try to make my opinions. i just cant be bothered anymore. i cant be bothered to try and relieve the pressure off my chest. or the constant dry throat and aching ribs. i just dont have the energy to try anymore.

the struggle is over with my white flag flying through the air.