listening to: Lost! by Coldplay
you know how when you were little and you would see this perfect life that you thought was going to happen. you would go to school, happy and content, surrounded by numerous of friends. then you would finish high school and go off to uni where you would complete your degree with flying colours. you would soon meet your prince charming or the girl of your dreams. you guys would date, get engaged, get married and live happily ever after. all the while, having a great career behind you. then you would as many kids as you want and they would turn out all beautiful. you guys would move into a great big house that was like dream. and as a family, you would live a very happy life.
then life would come crashing down on you. that dream starts to fade and the only time that you see that happen is on tv and its seems so unreachable. you realise that life isnt what it is jacked up to be. not everyone is going to like you for who you are. you arent going to meet prince charming or the girl of the dreams. you realise that its too difficult to reach that dream. you realise that it has to be one or the other. the dream career or the dream partner. and those who are lucky to have both are envied by everyone. you realise that the person that you will marry will probably be someone who comes close to being perfect but will never quite reach it. the dream starts to fade and reality starts to kick in ruining all your hope.
i thought that my life was going to be this one great adventure. i thought that i would be doing great things with it and that there was a plan on when i would meet the perfect man and what career i would take to make me one of the most happiest people in the world. then one day, it came crashing down on me. i probably wasnt going to ever find my dream man or even have my dream career. i realised that life rarely was going to be all sunshines and lollipops but rather more of black, white and grey. i realised that people would start to hate me for reasons that were completely unknown to me. i realised that not everyone is going to loyal and that some people will be there for a second and then disappear. i realised that my dream was never going to come true.
i realised that life may not have a plan for me. i realised that if it even had a plan, that the plan may not even become a happy one but rather a sad one. i realised that would be days where i would cry for no particularly reasons and that people would blame things on me that wasnt my fault. i realised that there were going to be more sad days than happy days. i also realised that i would feel like i didnt belong and i would doubt my whole existance.
i realised that bad things would happen to good people and good things would happen to bad people. i realised that the world isnt always fair. i realised that bad people would be able to walk free from prison and not have to pay for what they did. i realised that people will hit and hurt others for no particular reasons or reasons that could be resolved by some other means. i realised people would die when they have so much to live for. i realised that the appearance of someone can fool many people.
and i realised that the fairytale life that i imagined would never become true.
just because i'm hurting doesn't mean i'm hurt
doesn't mean that i didn't get what i deserved.